[PaulB]

Hi all! I was just wondering what your thoughts were on modern engagement in relation to biblical espousal?

Mt.1:18-20 “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.”

Lk.2:4: “And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.”

If the modern day engagement of a couple is the same as biblical espousal then the whole divorce/remarriage/polygamy problem takes on a much wider scope than can be imagined!
So, if a couple don’t make it to the altar and “seal the deal” as to speak have they blown their chances of any future marriage or will they be committing adultery? (as they haven’t yet been joined together as “one flesh” in the physical sense) but after saying this neither had Joseph and Mary!

Is the term “espoused wife” meaning “as good as being seen as his wife” or literally his “wife” (as that is what it does seem to suggest?)

I would love to get your feedback on this question.

God bless

PaulB

[Amanda S.]

Bro. Paul,

I've always understood espousal/betrothal to be more Hebrew custom rather than a guide or rule for how we are to do things today.

Here is another OT example:

Deut 22:23 If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;
24 Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

Often a child would be betrothed until she was old enough to be married. Hardly something I would want in practice today.

Our custom today is engagement...But the promises made in engagement I feel as a Christian should be taken very very seriously.

I do think that this verse applies to such promises of marriage:


James 5:12 But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.

Today we often enter into engagement WAY too lightly. If there is any question on whether a future marriage would not work out, I would advise that no "dating" OR engagement take place. But that is my personal opinion based on principles set forth in the Bible.

[Amanda S.]

Bro. Paul,

I've always understood espousal/betrothal to be more Hebrew custom rather than a guide or rule for how we are to do things today.

Here is another OT example:

Deut 22:23 If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;
24 Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

Often a child would be betrothed until she was old enough to be married. Hardly something I would want in practice today.

Our custom today is engagement...But the promises made in engagement I feel as a Christian should be taken very very seriously.

I do think that this verse applies to such promises of marriage:


James 5:12 But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.

Today we often enter into engagement WAY too lightly. If there is any question on whether a future marriage would not work out, I would advise that no "dating" OR engagement take place. But that is my personal opinion based on principles set forth in the Bible.