[cliffordsndrs451]

I suppose this is the best place to seek any input. I was saved during an old fashioned revival meeting on a Friday night in April 1974. I have been weak, shattered, and discouraged many times since then. Highlights were 3 years in a strong fundamental seminary, assistant Pastor in a Faith based Baptist Church, and a beginning jail (not prison) ministry. That's all gone now as are 2 previous marriages. My father and very close brother have died without Christ - my brother went into intensive care on Christmas day and died within 2 weeks this year.

I am unequally yoked with 5 children I deeply love. Two children with my first wife, who I raised until they moved out on their own, an adopted son 16, a christian son (9) and my loving daughter (5). Unfortunately, I only get 6 or 7 days at home each month due to severe job travel requirements which I am in deep prayer to get changed.

Due to this extensive travel, I feel like I'm losing any witness I can have. I can change jobs but nothing abrupt because my wife cannot work. We have a large extended family that is also supported and tonight I heard that her mother is also deathly ill. Her mom and dad lived with us for extended times on 3 separate occasions and it looks like the Lord will lead that way again.

God has been unbelievably merciful in my life and dealt with me with more grace than I ever could have conceived of. I am sure that I am only an insignificant vessel of earth or clay but I never give up trying to purge and draw nigh. It was wonderful to find a forum like this. I am not sure how many times I will be able to log on but hope to continue.

By the Grace of God, I hope that in some quiet time alone with God, when any of you finish with the important prayers and wrestled with God for His help in your lives, that you might send a vapor to the thrown room for me. I can use all the help I can get. God bless every one of you and thanks.

Love from the heart,

Cliff