[MC1171611]

Originally Posted by JaeByrd

Then again I married my pen-pal (before eHarmony was a thang) and I am a strong believer in getting to know the real person before you actually get involved with the person. Cause lets face it once they form an emotional bond with someone they aren't seeing clearly... and those things they ignore while dating don't surface until AFTER they have kids and the differences really become important.

KJB Princess and I met on a very similar forum to this one (run by Luke ) in April of 2006; it took me over a year to convince her that she loved me, and (exactly) two years before she finally married me ( ), but I must say we have probably the best relationship of any newlywed couple I've ever known. There have been some bumps, but those are from outside of our marriage (though related thereto) and not explicitly related to the internet-ish nature of our meeting.

That being said, we haven't have had kids yet...but I don't really think that'll change much. Of course our meeting and relationship is extremely different from that of most internet relationships...we didn't meet on a secular site: we became friends on a Bible discussion site and developed a romance from there. (We're far from shy...people still tell us to "get a room!!" )

I'd say to avoid the internet stuff if possible, though for us it was a safeguard: it's hard to get into trouble from 2,300 miles away.

[JaeByrd]

Originally Posted by MC1171611

it's hard to get into trouble from 2,300 miles away.

We had about 2,600 miles of ocean between us and while RIME did work we did most of our correspondence through snail mail and a few long and expensive phone calls. We wrote just about every day though. We covered almost every topic/issue that came up in later years of marriage, at least the major ones we could think of, before we saw each other face to face.

You're slow. It only took 3 months for Diligent to convince me. Another 3months to actually meet me. And 2 months after that to marry me. It has been about 14 1/2 years since we married and people still wonder if we're newlyweds.

Originally Posted by JaeByrd

We had about 2,600 miles of ocean between us and while RIME did work we did most of our correspondence through snail mail and a few long and expensive phone calls. We wrote just about every day though. We covered almost every topic/issue that came up in later years of marriage, at least the major ones we could think of, before we saw each other face to face.

You're slow. It only took 3 months for Diligent to convince me. Another 3months to actually meet me. And 2 months after that to marry me. It has been about 14 1/2 years since we married and people still wonder if we're newlyweds.

Amen, thats the way to go about it. Recreational dating, which is what dating is these days, is just what it sounds like, recreation. People go out to have a good time. The problem behind it is this, They go meet someone, "hook up" get emotionally involved, and then break up. This process repeats itself over and over and over, until finally, they do decide to marry someone, and when things get tough they see no trouble with a divorce, they just see it as breaking up again, and its becomes meaningless. Divorce literally means nothing in this day and age, people just shrug at it.

As for me, Im gonna do the whole courtship thing, which I imagine will be an experiance in itself. Going to someones father and saying, "hey, Im interested in your daughter, lets talk" Thats going to be akward. Then again Im 19, so I still have time to figure stuff out.

[MC1171611]

tkg, I've often said that dating, even in Baptist circles ("we're 'going out,'" etc.) is nothing but practice for divorce and emotional fornication. Sure, usually nothing actually sexual happens, but the bond between a man and a woman has more to do with than just sex. Their hearts become one (emotionally) as well, and when kids are going out with all the other kids in the church constantly, all that does is create adults with emotional scars from all those little "relationships."

My wife and I were each others' real first relationship; she had another guy interested, but nothing came of that (he was an absolute looser!!). While we went on "dates" alone when we got the chance (I only saw her three different times before we got married ), we kept everything pure and clean before God, to the best of my knowledge. Some people and their parents choose that the young people shouldn't be alone, and that's perfectly fine, not to mention advisable in almost all cases.

One more thing: don't look for a bride; let God show you the one. Waiting is a pain in the tush (I was married when I was your age ) I know, but it's more than worth it. God knows what He's doing.

Originally Posted by MC1171611

tkg, I've often said that dating, even in Baptist circles ("we're 'going out,'" etc.) is nothing but practice for divorce and emotional fornication. Sure, usually nothing actually sexual happens, but the bond between a man and a woman has more to do with than just sex. Their hearts become one (emotionally) as well, and when kids are going out with all the other kids in the church constantly, all that does is create adults with emotional scars from all those little "relationships."

My wife and I were each others' real first relationship; she had another guy interested, but nothing came of that (he was an absolute looser!!). While we went on "dates" alone when we got the chance (I only saw her three different times before we got married ), we kept everything pure and clean before God, to the best of my knowledge. Some people and their parents choose that the young people shouldn't be alone, and that's perfectly fine, not to mention advisable in almost all cases.

One more thing: don't look for a bride; let God show you the one. Waiting is a pain in the tush (I was married when I was your age ) I know, but it's more than worth it. God knows what He's doing.

Im not looking, Ive prayed about it and I know im not ready to be in charge of my own family, Theres a lot I need to do in my own life before I ever even consider that, I just find it funny to muse about sometimes, but right now my focus is God and that alone. Im sure he will hit me on the head if the one He wants for me comes along. :P But I totally agree with you on that about emotional fornification. Theres a brother in my church that I have had a talk with twice now about it. He goes around, gets attached to a girl and gets an emotional high off it (Nothing physical) and then when she gets attached and wants to be around him all the time he just quits talking to her. Its scary because he thinks hes good because hes not doing anything physical. Alas, I just pray the Lord wakes him up to that soon enough.