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Old 06-09-2009, 06:27 PM
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Default Acceptable/Unacceptable Reasons for Divorce

There is a very interesting thread, Love & Race, that is still going on that I posted awhile back. In studying about this, I came up with some other questions.

I know that the Jewish people were given some acceptable reasons for giving a "bill of divorcement," such as a spouse that committed adultery. I don't know think that the New Testament gets into that subject.

What sayeth the Scriptures?
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Old 06-09-2009, 11:52 PM
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I Corinthians 7 might be a good place for you to start, no?

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Old 06-15-2009, 10:34 AM
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1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. 18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. 20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. 22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant. 23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. 24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. 27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.

32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.


1 Corinthians 7
King James Bible

Here is my interpretation, for what it is worth. In verse 10 Paul makes it clear that not he but the Lord himself commands that married believers must not divorce. And if they separate they must remain unmarried until they reconcile. Again, I believe this is referring to a case of a marriage between two believers. In the case of a believer being married to an unbeliever, the believer is not permitted to "put away" the unbeliever if they desire to stay with them. Verses 12 and 13. If however a believer is married to an unbeliever, an the unbeliever depart, they are free to marry a believer. Verse 15 and 39.

I do not believe that Old Testament law concerning marriage applies to believers today. And Christ made it clear that the exception was made because of the "hardness of their heart", but he points out that God did not intend it to be that way from the beginning because his purpose was to bring forth a Godly seed:

3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Matthew 19
King James Bible

13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. 14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

17 Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?


Malachi 2
King James Bible
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:13 AM
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Default Re: "Acceptable/Unacceptable Reasons for Divorce"

Aloha brother johnlf,

To all that you said.

I am in complete agreement with your "reading" of the Scriptures. {I couldn't have said it any better myself.}

The Bible (New Testament) is crystal clear on these matters; it's just too bad that so many of today's Christians IGNORE the Scriptural instructions concerning this issue!

It's a real pleasure to see someone "rightly divide" the Holy Scriptures, instead of CHANGING them to "MEAN" what ever they want them to "MEAN"!
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:56 AM
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Greetings Brother JohnIF. I also agree with what you have written.
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Old 06-15-2009, 02:01 PM
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Jassy and all,

I agree, too, that verses 10-11 of I Cor. 7 couldn't be any clearer...I just always had a problem with how to reconcile them to verses 27-28. So, (duh!) I asked my husband today and his thoughts were as follows:

The woman that DOES THE LEAVING in verses 10-11 is commanded not to remarry; the man that is the VICTIM OF THE LEAVING (by process of elimination) is NOT commanded not to remarry...on the contrary, he is told that if he marries AFTER HE IS LOOSED (divorced,) he has not sinned! Obviously, if he had been commanded NOT to do it and then did it, he WOULD have sinned! Maybe everybody here but me already knew this, but it was news to me, and I was tickled to have learned something new!

Another inquiry...does the rule seem to be different for a man and for a woman, since verse 39 of this chapter and Romans 7:2 both have only the woman "bound," or is she just an example?

Pam
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Old 06-15-2009, 10:26 PM
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Thank you to everyone who posted here. The issue is more clear to me now. I am especially thankful to brother John for his long and detailed response, which clarified this issue, point by point, directly from the Scriptures.

Jassy
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Old 06-16-2009, 12:06 AM
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Default There is more to the problem

Are you talking about just Christian couples?
There are many, that a spouse left them. Has God contemn you to a life of loneliness, for something you could not control?
Do we sin and remarry, and then repent for our sin to have a new wife and children?
God is merciful and understanding.
What say you??
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Old 06-16-2009, 08:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buck View Post
Are you talking about just Christian couples?
There are many, that a spouse left them. Has God contemn you to a life of loneliness, for something you could not control?
Do we sin and remarry, and then repent for our sin to have a new wife and children?
God is merciful and understanding.
What say you??
My husband's insights (from my post #6) explained this for me...remarriage by the spouse who was abandoned is NOT sin! It would not be "just" to hold one person accountable for another's sin...

Pam
www.custerfamilyfarm.com
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Old 06-16-2009, 10:37 AM
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Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Notice the only justifiable cause of putting away here is fornication, not adultery. Under the law, if the bride could not be demonstrated to be a virgin on her wedding night she was stoned.

Deuteronomy 22:13-21 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

So, whoever puts his wife away causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries her commits adultery, also. Jesus is saying that there is no justification for divorce.

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

The husband putting away for any cause other than fornication (not adultery) also commits adultery if he remarries.

As Johnlf (my husband) pointed out, we are not under the law. There are no exceptions for us who walk after the spirit:

Matthew 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
 

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