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Old 02-22-2009, 09:45 PM
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JaeByrd JaeByrd is offline
 
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Default Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

A little old, but still funny.

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isnít about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We donít really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Whereís my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chickenís intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesnít realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid heís acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, Iím going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because heís guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmerís Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed Iíve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didnít ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isnít that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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  #2  
Old 02-22-2009, 10:23 PM
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stephanos stephanos is offline
 
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I'm voting for Sarah Palin!!!

Peace and Love,
Stephen
  #3  
Old 02-22-2009, 11:47 PM
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chette777 chette777 is offline
 
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Popeye's Chicken: Everyone should have a chicken that crosses roads at a price every family can afford. get you own franchise today


Great one JayByrd.

is it still cold there?

We are sweltering her in Pinoyland 105 in the Sun, 92 in the shade, 100%humidity and and a breeze so you can't tell the difference
  #4  
Old 02-23-2009, 05:39 AM
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geologist geologist is offline
 
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The chicken crossed the road for fowl purposes.
  #5  
Old 02-23-2009, 09:16 AM
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Cody1611 Cody1611 is offline
 
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LOL

I like the Dr. Seuss one.
  #6  
Old 02-23-2009, 10:19 AM
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You left one out JaeByrd...

JOHN CALVIN: Because it was chosen before the foundation of the world to do it. It had absolutely no choice in the matter.
  #7  
Old 02-23-2009, 01:33 PM
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Diligent Diligent is offline
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Alexander Campbell: The chicken crossed the road to be buptized.
  #8  
Old 02-23-2009, 02:34 PM
kittn1 kittn1 is offline
 
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My vote's with the Colonel
  #9  
Old 02-23-2009, 06:13 PM
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stephanos stephanos is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Forrest View Post
You left one out JaeByrd...

JOHN CALVIN: Because it was chosen before the foundation of the world to do it. It had absolutely no choice in the matter.
LOL

Peace and Love,
Stephen
  #10  
Old 02-24-2009, 01:28 PM
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Brother Tim Brother Tim is offline
 
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And of course, to match:
Armenius: Because it was exercising its free will.
 

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