[stephanos]

Originally Posted by buzzoff1031

I believe in Christ's atoning work alone as the vehicle for my salvation. Also, I know a great church to go to. My wife says though, that I can have church or her. I've changed my mind so much, she doesn't think I'm serious. What to do now?

Your wife must submit to you as you submit to Christ Jesus.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:21-33 KJV)

Your wife must realize that as a man, and spiritual leader of the home, you have a responsibility to do what is right for that home. But I must warn you, that you mustn't fall into the sin that Adam fell into. Don't let your wife drag you down if that's what she's ultimately going to do. Just keep seeking Christ every day and let your conversation (lifestyle) witness to her. I'd suggest that you pray for her without ceasing. You know, if anyone will notice a change in you, it will be her. Make sure she sees one and it will speak volumes of the power of Christ.

Peace and Love,
Stephen

[stephanos]

Originally Posted by buzzoff1031

I believe in Christ's atoning work alone as the vehicle for my salvation. Also, I know a great church to go to. My wife says though, that I can have church or her. I've changed my mind so much, she doesn't think I'm serious. What to do now?

I also want to add that when I got saved my folks thought I was joking when I up and out of nowhere told them I recieved Jesus Christ last night (after years of mocking them for their faith). I was like you, in that I was into nearly every religion before I received Christ. So my advice to you is to shew your wife that you mean business. Put your foot down brother and join that church. Shine the light for JESUS!

No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light. (Luke 11:33 KJV)

Peace and Love,
Stephen

[buzzoff1031]

There's no way that my wife will either understand or submit right now. I can love her with all my being. But, do you think I still need to start going to church no matter what she says or what happens?

[MC1171611]

Dealing with an unsaved wife is going to be a challenge that only God can truly help you overcome, brother. I'd sit down with her and explain to her, if I were you, how that you're settled in your belief now. Make sure she knows that you love her dearly, but that you must surrender your life to Christ because of the great sacrifice that He made for you. Lord willing, she will be able to understand enough to not leave; if you approach her with love and understanding, it will be a lot easier on her.

[stephanos]

Yeah, what Vince said above. ^_^

Peace and Love,
Stephen

[Kiwi Christian]

Originally Posted by buzzoff1031

There's no way that my wife will either understand or submit right now. I can love her with all my being. But, do you think I still need to start going to church no matter what she says or what happens?

This could be your opportunity to prove your love for Jesus Christ? If your wife is adamant that she is never going to love the Lord and is also threatening you to make a choice between her or church/God, then choose.

You could always give her time and exercise some more patience with her, postponing going to church and committing the thing to solid prayer and Bible reading, to see what the Lord would have you do. I do believe the Lord would have you go to church, based on what the Bible says, but the time-out with your wife could turn her heart.

[Josh]

Amen to what's been said here. Salvation is simply seeing yourself a sinner, believing in Christ as the only way to Heaven, and putting your trust in Him and what He did on Calvary alone to save you. Many believe He did this, to be saved you must trust in Him and His work.

Definitely read your Bible(KJB) everyday. As for your wife, you'll have to pray about it. I believe every believer should be in a solid KJB church. But like saud already, you may need to be a witness to her either by waiting, or just going and letting her see your true dedication.

I'll be praying for you.

[Forrest]

Originally Posted by buzzoff1031

There's no way that my wife will either understand or submit right now. I can love her with all my being. But, do you think I still need to start going to church no matter what she says or what happens?

Personally, I do not think you need to go to a church at this point.

I would exhort you to do this instead. What I am about to suggest will require genuine brokenness on your part. It will require genuine love. It will require genuine humility. If you attempt to do this and it's not genuine, your wife will know it and you'll do more damage.

Remember "Buzz" that she is a weaker vessel and has different feelings (emotions) and needs than you do as a man. You cannot simply unload and dump all of your sinful garbage and wrong choices on her and expect her to react like a man would.

You wrote:

The problem is more that I haven't been faithful to Christ. It's like one day I want to follow him, the next I'm a buddhist. Add to that the fact that I have an addiction to porn and I can't blame her. How do I become more solid in my faith?

First, examine your words and your deeds. She knows you are not faithful to Jesus Christ. She knows you are inconsistent. She knows you are a double minded man and that you are unstable in all your ways.

James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

What is the solution?

James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

Second, after God opens your eyes and helps you see what she sees, I would go to her, broken and contrite and confess my sin.

I would say something like this. It has to be your words and it must be genuine. Don't waste her time if it's not. Think about what you've done, not what she has or has not done. It's not about her and what she has or has not done. It's about you. When, and if, God breaks your heart, I would say something along these lines.

Sweetheart, God has convicted me that I have been so wrong. I've been wrong in my anger. I've been wrong in my harsh words. I am addicted to immorality and I know this is wrong. I have dishonored you as my wife. I have failed to truly demonstrate my love for you. I do not deserve your forgiveness, but I ask for your forgiveness. Will you forgive me?

She may be so wounded or hurt, that she's unable to forgive you. She may get angry at you. She may laugh you off. She may doubt your sincerity. But, if God truly breaks your heart, you will approach her with no strings attached. You will not expect her to confess her faults and although you hope she is able to forgive you, she may not. But this must be done.

Finally, follow the counsel you've already received from the other brothers. Be consistent in your walk in the Lord. She had much rather see a sermon than hear one any day. Be patient. Do not give up. Jesus is patient with us, isn't He?

Originally Posted by buzzoff1031

I believe in Christ's atoning work alone as the vehicle for my salvation. Also, I know a great church to go to. My wife says though, that I can have church or her. I've changed my mind so much, she doesn't think I'm serious. What to do now?

Listen, for the sake of your marriage, the two of you might want to seek out a Bible believing church and ask the pastor for some private marital counseling. You are the head of the home and you need to take leadership in this. This might help your wife make a shift from her current posture. I have seen this save many marriages and make stronger couples too. A few hours with an experienced pastor who believes the Bible can often make a big difference in a marriage.

[buzzoff1031]

Originally Posted by Bro. Parrish

Listen, for the sake of your marriage, the two of you might want to seek out a Bible believing church and ask the pastor for some private marital counseling. You are the head of the home and you need to take leadership in this. This might help your wife make a shift from her current posture. I have seen this save many marriages and make stronger couples too. A few hours with an experienced pastor who believes the Bible can often make a big difference in a marriage.

What if my wife refuses this to. See, she grew up in a family situation that causes two problems. They taught her that whatever beliefs she has spiritually are okay. So obviously, she thinks religion in general is stupid. Also, her mom has had mental "issues" for a while. Her mom's bi-polar, agoraphobic, and a couple of other phobias. Also, her biological father abandoned the family when she was very young (like 2 or 3), and her step dad was a drunk cheat. The family counseling thing was tried and failed. So now she doesn't believe in counseling either. Going to a pastor for counseling...well, I doubt she'll even consider it.