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Diligent: The King James Bible is Biblical English, not conversational English. Even when the King James Bible was published in 1611, some people even then criticized it for using "archaic" English. (See Vance's book King James, His Bible, and its Translators.)
I would no more speak with KJB English in typical conversation than I would speak the "Computer Tech English" in a conversation unrelated to computer tech stuff. And when I am speaking of Biblical matters, I will use Biblical words, like justification, sanctification, and other words from the Bible that do not have true "modern" equivalents.
Your mocking question is backwards anyway. The question you need to answer is why the Bible should be written like a paperback novel rather than a holy book.
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It seems to me that I read that the New Testament Greek that God chose was the koine Greek which I've seen referred to as "the language of the common people". Is this correct or in error?