[Gord]

Originally Posted by Luke

Bro, I can't cry anymore. I just can't. I've done enough weeping and crying over this. In regards to repentance, I've got every criteria for every definition of repentance there is. I've wept, I am sorry for my sins, I am willing to turn from them, I don't want to sin again etc etc..

And that is what concerns me.. maybe my heart is so hard that it cannot cry anymore. I have to force myself to cry, and then it becomes about me...

Perhaps what C.W.Ruth had to say in ENTIRE SANCTIFICATION EXPLAINED may be of help, it was to me.

"THAT "SOMETHING"

"I knew Jesus and He was precious to my soul; but I found something within that would not be sweet, and patient and kind; I did what I could to keep it down, but it was there; I besought Jesus to do something for me, and when I gave Him my will He came in, and took out all that would not be sweet and patient and kind, and then He shut the door." Thus testifies George Fox, the founder of the Society of Friends, more than two centuries ago. After he "knew Jesus" there was still "something within" which was antagonistic to the spiritual life implanted; nor was this experience peculiar to him alone.

Such is indeed the experience of every newborn and truly regenerated soul. While he may not understand the subject of entire sanctification, and perhaps never have heard of the "second blessing," yet a young convert seldom goes three months in the new found experience until he becomes painfully conscious that there remains a "something within" that hinders, and retards his spiritual progress, and often becomes a source of much distress.

The manifestations of that "something" vary, but frequently the first showing of it is in a man-fearing spirit, or anger, or a disposition to doubt, or an unforgiving spirit, etc. Then comes frequently the temptation, that perhaps, after all there had not been a true conversion or these things would not manifest themselves, and because they had not been properly instructed, many have wearied of the conflict and struggle and have cast away their confidence.

The Bible name for that "something" is "the carnal mind" which "is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be (Rom_8:7). Paul said of the Corinthians, "I thank my God always on your behalf, for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ," and said, because they were "babes in Christ," "I have fed you with milk," "ye are yet carnal," thus showing that the carnal mind is not eradicated in conversion, but still continues in those who are "in Christ" for a "babe in Christ" is just as certainly "in Christ" as an adult in Christ is in Christ.

Then again the Bible speaks of that "something" as "the flesh;" "The flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh and these are contrary the one to the other, so that ye cannot do the things that ye would" (Gal_5:17). Here the dual nature is clearly set forth, and the inward conflict indicated. While the man has "the Spirit" (which would not apply to a sinner) he also has a something antagonistic to the Spirit, called here "the flesh." But in Gal_5:24, we read, "And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh," showing that the divine process for that "something" is not pardon, nor suppression, but crucifixion, which signifies that there is something to die and thus to be destroyed.

Other names given in the Bible for that "something" are, "sin that dwelleth in me," "the law of sin," "the body of this death," "the sin which doth so easily beset," "the sin of the world," "the body of sin," "our old man," etc., all of which have reference to that "something within" remaining after we are converted; in common parlance it is called "inbred sin," "depravity," "our evil nature," "original sin," our "Adamic nature," etc. All of these terms are synonymous, and refer to this identical "something within" which is the common heritage of every child of Adam. God's method and purpose is to "crucify" and "destroy" that something -- "our old man" -- so that we are "dead indeed unto sin." The sins committed may be pardoned, but this "something" cannot be pardoned for the simple reason we did not commit the same; it was born in us, and as the Anglican Confession says, "This infection of nature doth remain, yea, even in them that have been regenerated." But, thank God, there is power in Jesus' blood to eliminate and destroy it. "Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin" (Rom_6:6). This deliverance is what Mr. Wesley termed "the second blessing, properly so called." This is sanctification, and is the privilege of every believer, as pardon is the privilege of every penitent sinner.

The book is worth reading, and if you are a STEP book fan there are various places on the internet to get it. All new knowledge is part of our growth, so don't stop looking, the answer will be shown to you the

Act 2:33 Therefore being by the right hand of God exalted, and having received of the Father the promise of the Holy Ghost, he hath shed forth this, which ye now see and hear.