I often doubt my salvation based on past experiences. Pretty much everyone I care about knows about this so I have no problems sharing it, but after being saved 8 years ago (2000 I think), it was a very slow road for me. I was drinking until about 2003, and in 2003 I even became a fornicator (dropped drinking, another sin came in). That all stopped in the middle of 2004. I have only repented of this sin recently. (Don't get me wrong, I felt guilty the whole time I was in sin, but, I only felt a deep contrition lately, calling me to repent of the wickedness I was involved in as a Christian. I even asked Christ to be my saviour again, in the event that I was not saved, but all through those years, I did believe that Jesus Christ was my sin bearer).
I try to bear in mind David, who was an adulterer & fornicator, and unrepentent of the fact for over a year until confronted with God's truth under Nathaniel. It took me several years to realise what damage I had done to my walk with God, and I began to pray earnestly that He would break me over it. And did He break me alright!
I have no idea when I got saved. I know my initial motivation was fear of hell. Maybe I only got saved after my recent repentance of sin. I don't believe a person must ""Repent of their sins" to be saved, but a backslidden Christian must repent of and forsake their sin to be restored to fellowship with God.
|