I had this same conversation with a friend last night. I just started looking at this forum today so it's kind of odd that I spotted this. I was struggling for 2 weeks or more with the same feelings your going through. You can't let doubts get you down. I think some people can just believe and not have serious doubts. It's a gift. People like you and me struggle because we're the type of people that have to find answers to all our questions and understand all the little things and forget about the main reason we're saved. Jesus Christ. Don't get hung up on little things. Keep your focus on the Lord and stay in his word. As for you mentioning Calvinism and the internet, I can only say that you need to stay away from Internet teachers. Not all are bad, but it's very easy to fall into traps setup by Satan. Just because a website say's it christian doesn't mean that Satan isn't behind it(this is part of my problem), and it can cause you to have serious doubts. Stay in your bible, stay on this forum and go to baptist1611.com as well. If you or anyone else would like to email me for some support and vice versa my email is
johngibbons89@yahoo.com