I think you asked a legitimate question about the lack of life in churches today.
I believe it all starts with faith, or lack of it.
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2 Peter 1:5-8 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; 6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; 7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. 8 For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
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Everything is built upon faith. James 2 talks about faith without works being dead.
I think looking for my particular gift(s) actually hindered me. I simply didn't seem to have any. At the same time there were things that I was called to do that I couldn't seem to pass off even though I felt very unqualified. Only after I was finally obedient and acted in faith did I experience the strength of God helping me. I believe that further strengthed my faith more than if I had demanded some great gift from God first. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2Cor 12:10b).
I wonder how many other people are waiting for some gift or sign to suddenly appear before they step out in faith in what they may already feel called to do.