[peopleoftheway]

Originally Posted by Luke

Another big problem of mine is my obsession with works. I am seeing almost anything as a work. Basically, I have calvinist doctrine, even though I reject calvinism. So here I am praying that God would change me, and fearing actually stepping out and having faith, in case that faith is counted as a work, or it's something that "I do" instead of God. I sometimes feel like I am consigned to sit and wait, and somehow God will just overpower me and I will be in His will forever. The popular resurgence of calvinism online does nothing to help me.

Brother dont let people or their ideas come between you and the Lord, you mention that the resurgence of calvinism does nothing to help you, you are correct IT DOES NOTHING to help you only serve to confuse those who are in Christ to ADD unto Christs FINISHED work on the cross.
If I may offer some advice a brother gave me, quite simply avoid the topic of Calvinism and any research into it or debate with those entrenched in it or any other teaching for doctrine the commandments of men

Hebrews 13:9 Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein.

You are saved, bought and paid for with the Blood of a Risen Saviour, there is no special charismatic "feeling" as claimed by many at salvation, if our salvation was determined by how we "feel" then the Bible would tell us this, we know we are saved because the Bible says so, and we believe, we have that faith in things unseen.

Hebrews 11:1
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Brother I know that you believe from your posts and your attitude, and like myself I have noticed that your tender heart has been challenged by false teachings and those who cast doubt into you heart through such teaching.
I never have held to any of the points of Calvinism and find the teaching a stumblingblock to babes in Christ and those who are weak in faith.
These last days are the last ditch attempt by the god of this world to counterfeit Gods word and sway his people through deceit, calling on people to "feel" rather than believe or to "DO" rather than just "BE" in Christ

1 Timothy 4:9 This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation.
1 Timothy 4:10 For therefore we both labour and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Saviour of all men, specially of those that believe.

I love this verse for the apostle tells us that it is a "faithful saying" and worthy of ALL ACCEPTATION
I just have to read that one verse from Gods Holy written word that is marked in that book as a "faithful saying" to know that Christ died for ALL MEN especially those that "believe" you do believe I know you do, and Christ died for YOU dont feel it dont look to feel it, know it because it is
written
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

He died for us Bro, you believe it I believe it, Sin will taint our lives until that day we are called home or Christ comes for us the only perfect man was crucified!
Just keep trying Bro, the Lord will not allow YOU to bear more than you can handle, the lesson in all this will become a blessing in the end, that I am certain of

1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

As the verse says GOD IS FAITHFUL even when sometime we aren't as faithful as we ought or want to be.
There are things I struggle with on a daily basis but when I wake in the morning and the Lord has spared me I know that he still has a purpose for my life and I try again to live the right way ALWAYS looking to Christ for ALL my needs.

David had committed a grievous sin against the Lord, he committed adultery and Murder ! now God forgave him, he was grieved for a season but through prayer he seen his way through by the power of God!

Psalms 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Psalms 51:11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
Psalms 51:12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

God bless Bro, I Hope and Pray you find the Joy you seek

addition: May I just add that explaining to my Mother how you are feeling she said to me, "I love reading what that young man has to say, you just know he is a brother from his tender heart, please tell him that I will pray for him"