Eric, you are heading down a path that no one here wants to follow. You are the one who is lost. Your faith was damaged by someone you initially trusted. You now sit under a pastor whom you say supports Ruckman. For that to be true, he would have to be unreservedly KJBO. Therefore, you either are doubting the judgment of your pastor and ought not to remain under his teaching, or you are attempting to convince yourself that you are right and the rest of us are not. I, for one, will not continue the debate. It is useless.
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