I symphatize with you
,It's sad but its true, indeed the Gospel are read and known by men by what we actually do. Non-believing friends and loved ones are reading us and casts doubts when Jesus do not shine in us. Oftentimes, it takes the Word of God to been seen in you.
The battle really is not to the strong, nor the race is to the swift but to the true and the faithful, there victory is promised through grace.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 I returned, and saw under the sun, that
the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
Well, take heart then, it might be
you who will turn the world upside down.
1Co*1:19 For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.
1Co*1:20 Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?
1Co*1:21 For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe.
1Co*1:22 For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom:
1Co*1:23 But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness;
1Co*1:24 But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God.
1Co*1:25 Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
1Co*1:26 For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
1Co*1:27 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
1Co*1:28 And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
1Co*1:29 That no flesh should glory in his presence.
1Co*1:30 But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption:
1Co*1:31 That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.